Clark's Birth Story
Clark Lee Tugwell
Date: 02/11/18
Time: 04:53am
Weight: 6lbs 10oz
Length: 19.75 in
Clark is two...nope.... three...nope... six...nope... eleven...nope... twelve months old now, and every time I sit down to write his birth story I can't seem to find the right words. I've spent almost his entire first year writing this blog. Each time I started writing about his birth, I realized nothing I could write would ever be able to describe the experience fully.
So since I will never be able to explain how much his birth changed my life, I thought I would give you, in true engineer form, a timeline of what happened on his birthday and the few days leading up to his birth.
Friday, February 9, 2018 - Last relax day for a while
12:00pm - Met Anna at the nail place for a pampering birthday mani/pedi. We had a great time, and I even had my nails painted pink for Valentine's Day. Little did I know, I should have gone with blue for Clark's birthday!
2:00pm - Met Cameron, Amy, and Ashton for a beautiful walk at Greenway. I walked for a mile or two, the most walking I had done in quite a while. I felt so good afterwards, tired, but good tired.
Saturday, February 10, 2018 - Aunt Anna's and Adam Baird's Birthday
10:00am - Since I had both showers in the two weeks before he was born, his room and our house were no where near ready for baby. Cameron came over to give me some newborn essentials and help me get Clark's nursery slightly organized from the overflowing shower gifts. I had no idea how much help this was going to end up being since he was born less than 24 hours later!
7:00pm - Anna's birthday dinner. Robert and I woke up from a nap to get ready for Anna's birthday dinner, and I was still really tired. Since that isn't super unusual for me when I'm not pregnant, we got ready and headed to the Cracker Barrel. We were meeting Anna's boyfriend's (now husband's) family for the first time that night. I remember thinking that I looked a total mess, and they would just have to give me some grace since I was 38 weeks pregnant. I tried to make conversation, but I was incredibly uncomfortable sitting in those small, wooden chairs. At one point I slumped down and stretched my leg out long, and I felt a kick... in my hip! It was a really weird feeling, but I still had no idea I was about to go into labor.
10:30pm - Robert and I climb into bed exhausted. I told him I wasn't so sure I was going to make it to my due date, if I felt like this too many more days. Looking back it is hilarious, but I still thought we had days. At this point, I hadn't had any real signs of labor.
Earlier that night we joked with Anna that she was going to have to share her birthday with another boy and she told him to stay inside until after the 10th, and that exactly what he did...
Sunday, February 11, 2018 - Clark's Birthday
12:30am - I felt a menstrual-like cramp in my sleep and immediately wake up to my water breaking. I wake Robert up and tell him I think my water has just broken or I've peed the bed! I bolt out of bed and into the bathroom to determine what kind of liquid I've just been soaked in. I realize it's my water breaking about 30 seconds before I lose my mucous plug and my stomach starts cramping like I'm on my period.
Fun Fact: I read that only about 10% of women have their water break before labor. Robert's mom, my mom, and me all had our water break before.
I clean up a bit and go back into our bedroom, where Robert proceeds to roll over like he's going back to sleep. I laughed and told him, "I didn't think I would be going back to sleep tonight."
I called the midwife on call that night and told her what happened. She said we should probably get to the hospital in the next hour. I told her I wanted to labor at home as much as possible, and had talked to my midwife about doing the 3-1-1 method. This is where you have contractions every three minutes that are one minute long for an hour before you go to the hospital. This way you can labor at home and not get to the hospital too early. She said that was fine, although she probably laughed at me when she hung up.
I also texted my mom at the time, "My water just broke...And I'm not joking...I'll call you when I can wrap my head around this." How funny is this message?
12:45-1:00am - Robert got up and started getting ready. I told him I wanted to take a shower so that I would be relaxed and clean before my labor really started. My stomach was cramping before I got into the shower, but it wasn't really painful and I still thought I had at least a couple hours to get ready. I even washed my hair because I thought I would feel better if it was clean - labor apparently makes you do crazy things! During my shower, Robert started time my contractions. They were between two and four minutes a part from the beginning. Still my brain will not accept that I am entering active labor.
I get out of the shower and start packing our hospital bag. Yes you read that correctly, I had not packed a single thing for the hospital. I thought for sure, since Clark was my first baby, I was going to be on-time or late and that labor would be slow. I had planned on packing my bag while laboring slowly and maybe even making brownies for the nurses to distract me.
I'm moving as fast as I can to get ready, but I am slow on a good day when I'm not in labor and it's not the middle of the night. My contractions start to feel more painful, but they still feel mostly like intense menstrual cramps. I try to hurry, but I'm still packing things like essential oils and a birthing ball.
2:00am - It started to get more difficult to walk and talk through contractions when I was getting Clark's things together. As I mentioned, Cameron had been there the day before and I had put a few things together that I thought I might want to take to the hospital. It was unpacked, but at least it was washed and in one place. Robert came into the nursery while I was in the middle of a doubled over contraction, and tells me we have to leave. It finally clicks in my head, that Clark is going to be here soon!
2:30ish am - I go to the car and call my mom while Robert is finishing getting my things. I can no longer talk through contractions. I told her we were heading to the hospital and she should come as quick as she can. Praise Jesus there is very little traffic at two in the morning on my route to the hospital, or Clark could have been born in the car. We were about half way there when my body had it's first major, pushing contraction. I was so nauseous. I tried to relax and keep my body from pushing. I had read so many things about labor stalling while in the car but this did not happen for me. Looking back I think this is where I started to transition.
3:00am - We arrive at the hospital! We delivered at Erlanger East, so for those of you that have been there or delivered there, you will appreciate this part of the story. Robert pulled into the parking lot, at what seemed like 100 yards from the door. I told him to pull under the drop off area, and I started getting out of the car. He said he was going to park and be right back, and I looked at him and told him there was no way I could walk by myself. While he was helping me out of the car, we see this lovely couple getting out of the car in front of us. The husband drops her off, she happily waddles in, and 20 seconds later the car is parked and he's walking in with a suitcase and pillow. They seriously looked like they were going on vacation.
By the time I walk the 30 feet from the car to the reception desk, they are almost finished checking in. At this point, I am doubled over and whistling. I don't know why but as my contractions progressed, my exhalations turning into whistles. I guess it's just something my yoga trained body couldn't stop. I can only imagine what that sweet couple was thinking as they were looking at me leaning over the reception desk, hair still damp, and whistling. They head up the elevator and Robert hurries to get me checked in. I remember hearing the check-in girl call up to L&D and tell them I was pretty far along. I wish whoever answered that call, would have talked to the triage nurse because what happened next was so not funny.
Lost all track of time painful am - Robert helps me to the elevator and accepts that the car is staying in the middle of the drop off area. We get upstairs and the triage nurse starts trying to ask me questions. The only one I remember is, "Is this your first baby?" I told her it was, but that she shouldn't let that impact her evaluation. She looked at me like I was crazy, and gave me a how dare you tell me how to do my job look. However, I quickly brushed it off as another contraction was coming.
She led me to the triage room and asked me to go to the bathroom. I got undressed and thought there is absolutely no way I can pee. She came into the room, and Robert told her I was unable to go to the bathroom. With his help I somehow managed to get undressed and get on the hospital gown. The nurse came over and put her hand on my stomach and told me she couldn't feel any contractions. I told her I was definitely having contractions, and then she actually had the nerve to ask me where it hurt?! Under normal conditions, I'm sure I would have responded with a hateful and sarcastic comment but in that much pain I responded with, "In my UTERUS!"
At that point she conceded to take me to a delivery room to check me to see how much I had dilated. I climbed onto the bed with serious effort, and what happened next was something I was completely unprepared for.
While I was contracting, she began checking how far I had dilated. I immediately started screaming. It's getting difficult to remember exactly what I said, but it was something to the effect of, "GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF ME!" She continues to try and check me, and responds with, as best as memory serves, "I need you to stop fussing so I can check you." Let me just tell you that these are never good words to use when someone is in labor. Had I not been in immense pain at that moment, I'm not sure what I would have said or done to her. When her torture and my contraction were over, she let me know that I was about eight centimeters, but it was really hard to tell with me moving around so much. With that incredibly helpful comment she left the room and went to fetch my labor and delivery nurse.
No time for an epidural am - After the super helpful triage nurse left, I told Robert I wasn't sure I could handle much more without an epidural. A few minutes later our wonderful labor and delivery nurse came into the room. I wish I could remember that sweet lady's name, but I was slightly distracted. She was calm, but clearly in a hurry. She started talking to us and asking me questions - which Robert says I was singing her answers since at this point my contractions are intense. I was much calmer, although in much more pain, after we started talking. She got my IV started and told me we needed to get some forms signed before we could call the anesthesiologist.In between my contractions, I signed so many papers. I seriously have no idea what I was signing or why our hospital didn't have us sign these forms when we did our early registration, but I guess it was a good distraction. When we were finished I remember her asking me if I still wanted an epidural and if I thought I could sit still for 15 minutes. She was so sweet, because she knew from the minute she saw me that there was no time for an epidural, but she never told me. She just let me come to the realization that I was having my baby non-medicated and fast!
Help for the Transition am - At some point during all the paper signing my midwife, my mom and my sister all arrived. It's hard to remember much from this part of active labor. I had spent almost the entire time on my hands and knees because it just seemed natural and easier to weather the waves of contractions. I do remember a couple of funny moments though. One was the nurses trying to check the baby's heart rate in using a belly band monitor. I can't remember my exact response, but it was something to the effect of, "His heart is a lot further south, so you're going to need a different monitor if you want to find his heartbeat!" The second and most memorable was that because I was in the hands and knees position, the glamorous hospital gown kept sliding off and everyone kept trying to help me put it back on and cover me up. If you know me well, you know that modesty (at least among other women and medical professionals) is not a thing for me. I finally had to tell them that with a baby about to come out of my vagina for all to see, I didn't mind them having a little preview show and to stop touching me!
Baby's almost here am - As an introvert, I suspected that I would be very inward during labor. During the last stages of labor, I was almost entirely in my own world. I didn't want to be touched or talked to. I was completely focused on my breathing (and whistling) and getting ready to meet our baby. At some point during a contraction break, I remember my midwife checking me and telling the nurse I was dilated at 10 plus 2. It was time to push. It was such an odd transition because I remember feeling like the intense contractions had stopped. I could breathe easier and went back to my yoga breathing. At this point my mom and my midwife noticed that instead of pushing, I was trying to breathe through the contractions and holding the baby inside. I really wanted to deliver in the hands and knees position because I was so comfortable there, and the thought of moving was not appealing. My mom very calmly and sweetly told me that it look like I wasn't relaxed, and that if I flipped to my back it might be a little easier to push. Wow was she right! As soon as I flipped, I immediately felt the desire to push. This was by far the most unexpected part of labor. I really didn't have any pain until Clark's head was crowning. I remember his head crowned and my midwife told me to slow down and not push. So I took a couple breaths, but the next push his head crowned again, showing more of his hair.
4:53am - There was no slowing down at this point and after another breath, I took one big push, and he was out! I couldn't believe it! Maybe ten minutes and three pushes total! Someone was ready to meet their momma! He started screaming immediately and they laid him on my chest. Even though I had been up for almost 24 hours, I remember feeling so awake and excited to finally hold him.
Side note - Apart from being enthralled with my little miracle, Robert thinks it is hilarious that the first thing I said after giving birth was, "How are my puppies?" or "Has anyone checked on my puppies?" We left abruptly in the middle of the night and I wanted to make sure they were ok. Dog mom for life!
4:54am and on - There were lots of sweet nurses helping us to get settled and comfortable after he arrived. I had a second degree tear, but after my midwife stitched me up, we headed downstairs to recover in our room (well it was more like a cozy closet, but it was private and quiet). He breastfed great from the start, and once I got my IV out, we started getting into our football-hold feeding groove. We had more visitors than I expected, but we mostly spent the day feeding, sleeping, and cuddling. This is the only time in my life I have ever enjoyed being in the hospital. Early the next morning the sweet nurses took him to get cleaned up and do some tests (for the life of me I can't remember what they were). That 2-3 hours was the most relaxing sleep, and I woke to find Clark back in his bassinet and daddy on the couch sleeping. I felt surprisingly good that day, and got ready to check-out. We packed you up and all of mommy's postpartum goodies and headed home around 1:30 that afternoon.
I want to remember everything about those days, but my brain is already starting to forget so much. I want to remember how tiny he was when we brought him home. I want to remember how he felt sleeping on my chest during skin to skin time. I want to remember how far away he felt when he was sleeping just a foot away from me in his bassinet. I want to remember every detail of those sleep deprived, cuddle-filled, exceedingly joyous first days.
Clark,
When we met for the first time, I couldn't believe you were finally here. I was in awe and so excited to hold you. You cried for most of the first hour unless you were laying on me - the start of many great cuddle sessions. You had so much hair, and you were much smaller than I thought you would be. You were and are just perfect! Your birthday was one of the best days of my life. It was nothing like I expected, but better than I ever imagined. Clark Lee Tugwell, thank you for making me a mommy!
Happy First Birthday,
Momma
